CDA to Yellowstone!

Here's a photo from the second dinner we had on Monday night:

As you can see, it is very healthy. Seth convinced the waitress to bring us "Infinity Fries," and when they arrived he marveled at their size. "Wait! These don't cost infinity dollars do they? I don't have infinity dollars." Aaron chimes in, "you don't even have a googol dollars." The waitress walks away.

Early on Tuesday we got up and headed Southeast for Yellowstone! The weather was perfect, and the park is incredible. Here is Meghan in front of some of the paint pots:

Setting up camp:

Awesome:

If I get a chance I'll put up all the other photos on Flickr or something, but it's time to do Vegas now! We finished The World Is Flat in the car heading out of CDA, Hitchens' God Is Not Great in Yellowstone, and 99% of The Omnivore's Dilemma on the way to Vegas, so we're almost out of stuff to listen to in the car.

Last night we got sushi at the Japanese place in The Flamingo, and the ladies headed to Thunder Down Under while I caught up with email. Then we headed out to Tryst at Wynn, which was a pretty good time. Buncha other people are headed out today, so stuff is about to get crazy. Woo!

Monday: Soreness

My left shoulder is sore, my right IT band is very tight, and my foot is sore below the ankle in a weird way. My quads are definitely sore. Today is going to be rough, but the beer is going to be oh so good.

Update: the beer was oh soooo good. Ugh. My tummy.

Sunday race report

4am: wake up and eat 2 scoops of perpeteum
4:10-5:30: sleep

5:30: wake up again and mix the stuff for my bottles, camelbacks, and special foods bags.

6: pump tires. pump tires for 4 incompetent people around me who have apparently never seen a presta valve. WTF? (note, one of these people was an 18-year old, youngest kid in the race, who passed me at mile 22 of the run). Inform everyone else I am not pumping up any more tires.

6:30: race back to apartment and put on wetsuit, send Meghan for espresso

6:50: chug espresso, waddle down to beach JUST in time for the start

7: swim swim swim. Drafting off of 2000 other people is pretty pleasant. The second loop was harder as people got more spread out, but I found some feet that seemed to be going my pace, and just drafted of of them. My wetsuit rubbed some skin off my neck, which hurt, but wasn't too bad. Mostly I spent the last 500 meters squeezing my butt cheeks together trying to keep the workings of a chugged espresso from filling my wetsuit.

8:20: Out of the water! Exactly at the time I predicted! And Meghan was at the chute to cheer! Totally awesome. Now, where's the bathroom?

8:21: Wetsuit peeled off by hotteis. Where's the bathroom?

8:22: Got transition bag. Where's the bathroom?

8:23: Found 4 porter potties!! Wooo!! Unfortunately, their doors were all facing inward so I couldn't enter any of them. No matter, I'll just move one! GAH! The handle was zip-tied shut with a note that said "T2 ONLY" which meant that this wouldn't be available till after the bike.

8:24: ran into changing tent, threw all my crap in the corner. Asked a helper where the bathroom was, and he said "in the corner." I said "that's not good enough, we have an imminent number 2." He laughs "out there!"

8:32: Relief attained, dressed in bike clothes, and off on the bike! Tummy still rumbling. Happy I didn't have an accident.

9:50-ish: hit the hills out by Hayden lake. Sucky. The downhills are great though, and I'm passing a lot of people on them. Tri geeks (at least the ones in my skill bracket) descend like babies.

Coming back into town at the end of the 1st loop, Doctor David from UM (in the 50-55 age group) and Randy? from Coeur D'Alene and I held a good pace. We got split up at the special foods area, which sucked because we had started to bond.

11:5oish: First aid station after special foods. Tummy rumbling hard. I needed to fill my camelback with water and Endurolytes anyway, so I stopped and handed some young volunteer my bike. The volunteers are totally awesome. Racers can't thank them enough! So, this kid is holding my bike as I fill my camelback as I wait in the porter potty line. I finish filling right as a stall opens up and I dash in. The sound is cartoonishly comical. I can hear the volunteers outside and the people in the neighboring stalls laughing. I exit to applause, and I feel 100%. Not that 110% bullshit that's mathematically impossible, but really, actually 100%: best I've ever felt.

2:53PM: Had picked up the pace a bit on the second lap, finishing the bike with a time of 6:20:20 overall. Kept the heart rate in the 140's-15o's all the time except for the climbs, so I was feeling pretty happy with this. Normally I'm in the 160's on a training ride, and mid 170's is my lactate threshold. Post-poop I was pretty chatty even, and I caught up with both Doctor Dave and Randy which helped out the mood even more. Unfortunately, they both fell back in the hills and I didn't see them again.

3:00PM: Exited transition after taking an ibuprofin and stretching out a bit. I was pretty worried about my IT band tightening up in the cold (around 55/60F at this point?). I held a pretty constant 10:20 min/mile pace for the first 13 miles as I got warmed up and into a rhythm.

4:20: Halfway done! Something weird happened here. It had started to rain and the temperature was dropping. Things were pretty miserable. I took another ibuprofin at the special foods area (somewhere around 15 miles) and the weirdness started kicking in. Every time someone slapped me five or cheered it made me want to finish. Finish NOW. In a funky emotional state that was 1/3 laughing, 1/3 sobbing, and 1/3 cranky, I averaged 9:00's for about 5 miles. My rationale was that once I got under 6 to go, I could make it home by sheer will alone. This wasn't entirely accurate, as at the end of those 5 miles the cold really started to get to me and my heart rate dropped to 120. This is for a guy who is usually at 190's when he's running 9's. Something was wrong. All I wanted was one of those space blankets and to be done. I got a space blanket and chicken broth (lots of it), but still had to make it through the last 6.2 miles. This marathon nonsense is bullshit. =) Anyway, the rain started to let up, and through a combination of walking and trotting I managed to get home in under 13 hours overall, which was my goal. Plus, every mile after 15 was basically a PR, because I'd never gone that far before!

I randomly chose to slap fives with people on the right hand side of the finisher's chute, which randomly happened to be where Meghan was waiting. Finishing was very happy. I got my picture taken, they gave me a hat, a shirt, and a medal, and I went home to sit in a bath. My feet looked great, despite what the naysayers of the FiveFingers expected. No blisters, no bleeding, and my joints feel pretty good, considering.

Meghan made me a bunch of tasty food and I passed out.

Saturday pre-race

Practice swim this morning, plus another massage from the ART folk. They don't like to call it massage (active stretching or something), but I don't care; it feels awesome. According to Amy and Mark at ART, my neck muscles have started compressing my spine around C5 and C6 which could explain the pain initiated by the midget shower. This probably is connected to high school football when I experienced some "stingers" with sensations similar to what happened in the midget shower. Anyway, their recommendation was for a slightly more elevated aero position and lots and lots of massage. I'll do them one better: after this whole ordeal I'll only ride my road bike and get lots of massage.

Tonight for dinner we had the classic pre-race pasta meal, along with tasty Idaho potatoes, from Idaho! It was only 99 cents for a big bag that we won't be able to finish. Time to stretch, and get to bed by 8.

Friday pre-race

Getting coffee this morning, I observed a couple people wearing Irvine jackets, and I knew that's where Steve's friend Seth was going to grad school. After I poked the girl in the arm and totally weirded her out, the guy was like "Uh, actually, Seth is in the bathroom right now and will be out in a second. How do you know him?" I said "Oh, we got drunk in undergrad." The guy was like "Typical."

We chatted a while about the course and then got back to getting our stuff ready. I was flying solo most of the day as Meghan headed over to the state park nearby for some hiking. Got another massage from the ART folk, who are amazing. There's a guy there names Mark that will twist you in all sorts of incredible ways. It was also really interesting listening to him teach the other sports therapists and chiropractors all the ways they should troubleshoot people's bodies. Totally impressed.

Blogger deleted my pictures on Friday, so I'm finally re-uploading them now (which is technically Monday) but I didn't have time to post Saturday or Sunday.

Meghan!

With intern year done and two weeks of vacation, Meghan arrived in Spokane last night. After another rainy drive, we made it back to CDA and went sleep. Today was day 1 of registration, so we headed down to the transition area to pick up the race numbers, check out the shops, get another massage (Kevin, I still hate your midget shower), and mutter under our breath about how douche-y so many of the triathletes are. Don't try to deny it. You know who you are.

The line was so long for registration that Meghan had time to go for a run while I stood around trying not to look douche-y. In line, the guy in front of me was from Bay City, and the guy behind me was from Flint. Crazy! My number is 371, so if you're bored between 7AM and 8PM-ish on Sunday, you can theoretically track me at www.ironman.com.

After check-in, I put the race tires on my wheels and proceeded to blow up one of my new tubes. It was at approximately 140psi when this happened (these tires go up to 170!!), so I may have messed my pants a little. Meghan did too. After calming down, I headed out to do a lap of the bike course. Let's just say that it was way hillier than I expected. Also, some pro dude with a CSC jersey passed me and I decided to chase him for a while and tired myself out pretty early. Lesson: don't chase pros on Sunday. This is their job.

Overall, the course is gorgeous and pretty fun. Some killer curves on the descents are going to wreck a few folk, I'm sure. Although, I bet the uphills are going to wreck even more. Never had to use the little ring in Michigan, but it's going to see plenty of action this weekend!

After the sluggish ride and a shower, we headed out to get ice cream.

Apparently the ice cream place is really hard to find. Two sets of people asked us where we got it (across the street) while we were sitting there. Today and yesterday were very different. Lesson: Meghan repels Vietnam vets and attracts ice cream cravers.

Bike course

Became bored earlier and mapped out the bike course on gmaps:

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2926205

Using the Terrain feature, you can actually get an idea of where the hills will be, which is a little nicer than just seeing the profile. Not as nice as driving the course though. Maybe tomorrow.

A full day in CDA

Some sort of street sweeping monster woke me up at 5. Apparently there is at least one downside to being right next to the action. After getting some food and a massage ($10 off for racers! nice!) I spent the day trying to catch up with work and getting on the apartment's wireless before heading out to do some grocery shopping. Here's where things got good.

After parking, I spent some time digging through the trunk of my car in search of a grocery bag. During this time, an old guy with a white beard, walking stick, and funny hat ambled up.

Old guy: "you look like a college student"

Me: "yep."

Old guy: "Ha! I always could tell!"

Me: "can you guess what sort?"

OG: "computers and technology. And satellites!"

Me: "not bad, except for that last part. Well, listen mister i-"

OG: "I'm not going to bullshit you brother. I'm 60 years old and I served in Nam. I'm waiting on my check, but until that comes in I could use some cash."

Me: "hmm."

OG: "Listen, I ain't bullshitting you. I just need a couple bucks to get a hot meal and be on my way."

Me: "Tell you what. I need to get some groceries and that'll take me about 15 minutes. After I do that, how about we head over to the place down the road and I buy you dinner?"

OG: "Naw man, I only deal in cash. You know what plastic does?"

Me: "No, what?"

OG: "It turns you in to plastic."

Me: "say what?"

OG: "It makes you superficial."

Me: "Uh, I think I see what you're getting at, but I contest your claim that credit cards necessarily make you superficial."

OG: "What's more important? Money, or gold?

Me: "Uh, they're both not important."

OG: "ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You're absolutely correct!"

Me: "Tell you what: I'm going to go get me some groceries, and when I get back how about we walk down there and grab a beer?"

OG looks at me incredulously

OG: "You buyin'?!"

Me: "yeah"

OG: "Sergeant Bill Something Something! Something-th infantry! At your service!"

Salute. Shake hands.

Me: "hahaha, ok, be right back."

I go shopping, and as I'm checking out, Bill comes in and harasses the employees. One guy calls him an idiot, to which Bill indicates "Eric knows me!" and points my way.

We walk over to Moon Time, the bar up the road that was requested by the lady renting my apartment.

Bill and I grab a table in the corner and order a couple of beers and start chatting. It was a legitimately good conversation. I initially thought he was your generic crazy homeless guy, but he was actually really well read, intelligent, and fun to talk with. Well, ok, maybe he was a little crazy. Here are some excerpts:

Bill: "what's the most devastating intellectual question you've ever been asked?"

Me: "devastating?"

Bill: "yeah, you know, hardest?"

Me: "uhh..."

After thinking a while I said: "Ok, I'll give you 3 hard questions I've been asked."

Me: "1) What do you want to be when you grow up? 2) Why are we here? 3) Why did you do that?

Bill liked the first two, but didn't like the third. When I asked him the same question, he said "when my 4-year-old son asked me 'are you my daddy?'"

We conversed for a while about string theory, CERN, gravity, the diameter of the earth, and then Bill busts out with this:

Bill: "You know, that still doesn't answer one devastating question."

Me: "What's that?"

Bill: "Why are women fat?"

I spray beer out of my mouth.

Bill: "They got fat legs, fat hips, fat tits."

Me: "Sorry I spit on you."

Bill told me about how when he was 16, his father's friend, who wasn't homosexual or anything, wanted to take him on a 3 week trip. After getting permission from his parents, his dad's friend took him to the Philippines. Apparently a man approached him there and said "you will be a very happy man." Bill followed him to his house, where he had 2 dozen kids, and followed him into the back yard, where he stated again "you will be a very happy man." This time, the man hit bill in the head really hard. Bill stayed there for 3 weeks and was taught Karate. He can now internalize pain and release it. "This doesn't make me a bad dude," he clarified.

an obese woman walks into the bar

Bill: "holy shit, look at this one. how'd you like to sleep with that?!"

Some other Bill-isms:

"You ever been fishing? Women are like fish. When you cast a line, you don't know if you'll get a bite or if they'll take off with your hook."

"You can't even conceptualize the power of the sun. It's pulling us around it at 25,000 miles per hour! What if another star is pulling on our star like that?!"

"Do you believe in UFO's?"

"My brother is a Marine. When I got back from Nam, I told him that if he ever hurt me again, I'd shoot him. He knew I wasn't kidding."

This entire time, Sgt. Bill was salting his beers. Not just the coaster, mind you, but the actual beers. And just eating the salt, too.

Me: "So how long do you think it'll take you to walk to your daughter's place?"

(we previously established he was walking to his daughter's in Pasco and that he had been walking for "too long" since being discharged from an unnamed VA hospital somewhere)

Bill: "Depends on how much energy I have"

Me: "ha, yeah."

Bill: "I'll get there when I get there. Hey, did you know they're doing the ironman here this weekend?"

Me: "That's what I'm here for."

Bill: "Fuck. You're in town for the ironman? Why the fuck would you do that shit? "

Me: "It's not a big deal."

Bill: "Fuck that! Why the hell would you run 112 miles?"

Me: "You're the guy walking across the country with a backpack."

Bill: "hrumph. Ahahahahahaha!"

Me: "I'll get there when I get there"

Bill: "Hey, thanks. Thanks for the beer and conversation."

Me: "Thank you, Sgt. Bill. Take care."

I emphasized the funny/strange stuff above, but I should point out that Sgt. Bill isn't really crazy. He's a good guy and a hard thinker. The moments when he got silent when he spoke about Vietnam were full of pain. His opinions of women were hilarious as well as crass, and his family stories were touching. I hope you make it to Pasco, Sgt. Bill.

Bismarck to CDA

Checked in to the AmericInn in Bismarck and relaxed in their hot tub. Tried stretching out the neck, but it didn't do too much. Also, one of 300 kids running around in the pool smacked me on the head with a life ring.

Ran for about an hour Tuesday morning. It felt decent, probably because I was very sick of sitting for hours and hours listening to Oliver Wyman.

Heading West from Bismarck, it started raining right away. No hail this time, but at 7am, this is not really how I wanted to start the day. Fortunately it cleared up after about 30 minutes and was pretty nice for most of the rest of the drive.

The lack of traffic in North Dakota and Montana is great. Also, the 75mph speed limit. Also, the scenery:

Somewhere in West North Dakota:

Woo! Geography!

I also got a shot of "The World's Largest Metal Sculpture" and the sign indicating I was entering Montana, but they're not that pretty. The giant geese sculpture was pretty lame, but I bet it was fun to weld! It was hard not to stop at every exit advertising dinosaurs and fossils. Lesson learned: Montana isn't that bad of a state!

I got in to Coeur D'Alene around 6:30 local time and with only 5/20 CD's to go in The World Is Flat, but I crossed 2 time zones and all of my clocks read different numbers, so I was temporally disoriented and tired. The apartment here is in a prime location for the race and is way nicer than a hotel room. Bedtime!

Big drive number 1

After hacking the wireless at my brother's place and catching up on email, I settled in for a good night's sleep. Monday morning I got up and showered, preparing for the drive from Milwaukee to Bismarck, ND. I think I pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve in my neck showering in Kevin's midget shower. Seriously Kevin, who has a shower head only 4 ft off the ground? Hope there's no traffic, as I won't be able to turn my head.

After polishing off the Diane Rehm autobio, I got to listen to Oliver Wyman read the first few CD's of "The World Is Flat" en route to Bismarck. Good stuff, but I feel lame for "reading" it 4 years too late. In the last 45 minutes of this drive, heading from the east to the west, with my bike on the roof rack, it went something like this:

Cigar cloud:

A grown man crying about the weather:

Departure

Sunday June 14. Time to start driving. The plan today was to head out from Ann Arbor and make it to my brother's place in Milwaukee. Here's the stuff I packed (minus one bike):

The drive from AA to Milwaukee was uneventful except for two things. 1) The GPS I bought on Friday successfully had me exit and skip traffic at the last possible second in Chicago, woo! 2) The same GPS seemingly randomly had me drive past the Amtrack station in Gary that Joe and I parked at a couple summers ago. Weird.

Oh, I also made it through the first 7 of 9 CD's of "Finding My Voice," the Diane Rehm autobiography. I highly recommend reading this (and listening to books on CD on long road trips in general), and I had no idea how fucked up her life was. I know there are insecure people out there, but I had no idea how insecure Diane Rehm was/is. Holy balls. Lesson: Parents shouldn't beat their kids and ignore them.

In Milwaukee, I met up with some friends from undergrad at the Iron Horse. Here's 3 of the 4:

Eli Cooke missed the photo op because he had to pee. Catching up was great, even if these four working folk terrified me with their tales of the real world. Grad students, don't ever forget how lucky you are.